Have you ever felt truly seen by another human being? It can be an amazing experience, even if you feel it just one time. Some may have a friend or a partner who offers this feeling regularly. But have you ever been in a room full of more than 100 people, and felt the whole room collectively saw you without saying a single word? This is the best way I can describe how I felt this weekend at my life coach training meet and greet.
On the afternoon of the first day, gathered in a large conference room, we were all given a spoon. We were to try to get into a state of pure love and knowing, and give the spoon permission to bend underneath our regular strength. Perhaps you have never tried to destroy cutlery in this way, but if you do, you’ll find that you probably can’t bend it even if you used your full strength. I tried to bend the spoon several times and failed. I noticed that I was scared of something that seemed so out of my control, and scared that I would not be special enough to make it bend. I tried to rationalize it – this was just a little too out there for me, and my little engineer ego brain knew I could not think my way to being able to do it. Some others in the room were able to do it immediately, but most were not. I got the sense that I was not the only one in the room who was intimidated. But we were all able to let it go, and try again another time.
After the program ended for the day, that energy of being truly recognized permeated outside the room, in the sunset patio and fireside conversations with smaller groups of the people. The women at my table found each other out in the patio-furniture in the shade of the sun-drenched patio. We relaxed and reflected, relating to each other what material in the session had resonated, what memories the ideas brought up. While bathing in this energy, I could share my most embarrassing and shameful stories and howl with laughter at the past version of myself that believed such painful things. I could see myself so much more clearly, and I could see others as if we are a part of the same consciousness.
When it was time to go, we all stood up to say goodbye for the night. I felt a deep humming in the pit of my stomach, the place where I usually feel fear and anxiety. But this feeling was not fear; it was vibrating at a more comfortable frequency, almost like a bass note on an electric guitar, or a yearning. My mind went to the spoon, I retrieved it from my purse, and tried again. The spoon bent easily. I squealed in delight and showed my friends. All of the spoons let their resistance go, and bent.
It may seem that bending spoons is trivial. Maybe there is a scientific explanation for the phenomena that I have not come across. And to be sure, there’s not much one can do with this skill. But, what can be done with that energy, with that vibration I felt in my stomach? What can be done when we are all together in that energy, when we let resistance go? When we recognize each other, and know that we are all connected? Nothing less than everything.